Thursday, December 11

100 Things about Me #4 ...No More Tubular Meat


It started somewhere between blotting slimy, wet, ham on my Subway sandwich ("Most people prefer moist lunch meat, phosphates' water-retaining ability actually helps the product hold together", ummm. Can I get an oh ick?) and reading The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. Maybe, it was driving by the mass production chicken farms (so against them) and seeing deranged birds wobbling on underdeveloped legs, walking into the side of the barn...over and over. Run chicken, run! Even through the daring escape, blinded by the light, they were not in the right mind to seek safety. Chickens are odd, this act of odd far exceeded any random coco bird.

Now, tubular meat is an entirely different story. Peeks and butts, yes...and sometimes fingers. (Fingers, this is a totally ridiculous thought from 1920's meat packing plants.) Total drama on my part and somewhat unfair to those who produce American's number one, grilled to plump perfection, tubular meat products. It's almost un-American to not like hot dogs. No flag burning here. Is it not a little strange to you that so many people like mushed meat encased by pig skin or casing? My friends at the USDA can help you with tubular facts. Happy Reading. Moo, squeal, snort and cluck.....

Anthropomorphism has really screwed with my ability to casually nibble on gummy bears and gold fish crackers. I do anyway. Except, listen to this poo, as gummy bears are typically made with either bovine or porcine gelatine, they are usually not suitable for vegetarians. What? How frustrating is that?

Over seven years ago I made a pledge to the animal world that I would no longer gnaw on chicken bones and chew the ever lasting veins. (You have had that happen once in your life....you know when you could continue chewing on the chicken because there seems to be this gum like effect to it. Do not fib, you have too.) I would no longer bite into a pig casing nor would I graze on cow meat. All in all, I have no real problem with meat eaters, like meat eaters should not have a problem with me. More meat for you. I'm not a member of PETA, I wear leather. Mostly my a$$le$$ leather chaps while playing dress up...joke. I have even owned a few fur products, most of which have been given away at this point. Due to my little bit of princess-wanna-be problem (Not a huge problem....just a little one.)I like glitter, sparkles and now faux fur...not all the time obviously. My Carhartts are seeing more action than my shiny bangles these days....

Which leads me to my hunting, fishing...killer of a husband, who I have a lot of respect for. (I really heart my hubby.) If he kills it he eats it. Then I cook it...yes, I (not all the time) cook meat. I am the Esref Armagan of cooking. He can not see, but he paints. I can not taste my cooking, but I cook.

I bid you farewell, as I am off to saute some tofu...skin an elk and cook me some grub. :D

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14 comments:

Jen said...

oh, ann- i am roaring with laughter. it started somewhere in subway, then went on to the chaps (priceless!) and i just totally lost it after that. seriously. oh my heck.
i didn't know you were a vegetarian! and you have a hunter husband for whom you cook meat! :) awesome. you love him.
i loved the jungle...it didn't quite push me to vegetarianism, but almost. i am really surprised by my meatloving self these days- it's bizarre. :)

Alyson (New England Living) said...

I am so freaky about meat. I have a really hard time not thinking about what I'm eating when I'm eating it. So even though I like the taste, I rarely eat it.

I do wear a$$le$$ chaps though. :)

Jennielee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennielee said...

very funny! I was a vegetarian for a while until the that darn pregnancy thing happened. That was the first time I ever craved meat and the cravings just never went away.

And in response to your comment on my blog, linking is always welcome! I love blog giveaways. Reading the blogs and finding the giveaway's are the best parts to me. Winning every once in a while is just an added bonus.The more people that get in on the fun the better!

Whitney said...

Ann,

I would totally have been so pissed if my cute pink shirt was delivered to another person across the country! GRR!

I really like this post, because I am slowly morphing into a pescetarain (I still eat fish, but no other meat). It's fun to meet someone who also doesn't eat meat. And you are so nice to your hubby, I don't even cook ANY meat anymore.

Love that you are a vegetaraian!

Jill said...

I had some serious meat issues after our field trip to Ada Beef, but got over it after about a year. It was my experience dissecting cats in Advanced Biology that really did me in though, I still don't really eat chicken since then...too similar. All those tendons and veins just sick me out.

I don't eat hot dogs ever.

tara @ kidz said...

LOL! I couldn't agree more! A few months ago my sis-in-law (who lives in Yellowstone, she's rustic chic) cooked us dinner. Sloppy joes. I thought they tasted kind of different, but just thought I didn't particularly care for her seasonings. As we were leaving, my husband said, "So what did you think of the elk meat." I DIED. I very seriously considered becoming bullemic.

LenaLoo said...

Hey there... Is that why I don't like lunch meat? I could never figure out what it is about it that makes me gag... I order my Subway sandwiches vegetarian style (but I am no where near disciplined enough to be one, i tried, In N Out did me in)... I am tagging you for a 7 things about you blog post, so maybe you can knock out 7 of those 100 things in one go :)... Come by my blog for the rules :)

TuTu's Bliss said...

LOL Thank you for making my day!!

Braja said...

I love your vegetarian heart :)

Ginette said...

Very funny and really makes you think.

LORI said...

VERY FUNNY, AND TOTALLY MADE ME NOT WANT TO SNACK ON THE ROAST THAT I CROCK-POTTED TONIGHT! HEE HEE!

blognut said...

I couldn't agree with you more. Hot dogs and all of their sausage cousins are just nasty.

blueviolet said...

I got sick on a hot dog as a child and haven't eaten one since and NEVER will. They're repulsive to me. I'm about as close to a vegetarian without actually being a vegetarian as you can get.

Congrats on your sauciness!