Playing with Fire

The unfolded clean load of laundry props up my arm on the left of me. The smell of clean fills the small space. Laying on the bed mid afternoon feels a bit mischievous. With dishes to do, floors to sweep and rugs to vacuum I close the door of duty while I drift into writing.

I have to clear the cobwebs and dust off the spot where I frequented often. Some how months have passed with a to do list forgetting this place and the comfort it brings.

With my eyes closed I start to juggle my thoughts. Flipping through the air like batons on fire I see my past, present and future. My past goes up and it lands in the palm of my hand while releasing it I patiently wait for the landing of my future. Something has caused me to drop my present.

All three batons are falling to the floor as I shuffle from side to side trying to avoid them. My past is never to be repeated, but only something to learn from. My present and future are molded from reality and dreams. I've been around determination and perseverance this week reminding me of the person I use to look at in the mirror. Where did she go? Or, did she find a better way of life and looking back is just a reminder of how far I've come. Maybe my determination has shifted without my knowledge. Like the batons on the floor...maybe I've allowed them to go out and decided juggling fire isn't me anymore.

The sound of my husband's voice brings me back. Grabbing for the unfolded towel I resume my actions feeling a little lighter in thought.