I rode the bus today for the first time in over a month. Now that the weather is nicer, notice I didn't say nice just nicer I walk, ride my bike or trot (some would call it running, but I have to be honest with myself). This running thing happens a lot more than I care to discuss...all because of the impending swim suit season. Sigh. Today however, I didn't want to ride my bike with the temperamental sky threatening rain and I wanted to wear heels. Vanity wins out on occasion.
While getting on the bus I always try to eye the open seats hoping to make the right decision. It is a serious 20 minute commitment with consequences. Today however, my scoping skills failed me. I ended up sitting behind a very offensively stinky man. He was eccentric to say the least. Foul to the smell and humorous to the eye. His Woody Allen glasses, Dale Earhart leather jacket and Hulk Hogan headband did everything to draw attention. Or, maybe it was his backpack with the husky stuffed animal dangling from it. It definitely wasn't the locked and loaded pipe drooping from his bottom lip... p-u-t-r-i-d. Oh, I left out that he is about 60 years old.
(Photo from Google,but so close.) If his appearance wasn't making a grand statement his wandering eyes did. With every female that stepped on the bus his head moved while his eyes undressed them. I'm sorry that is just nasty! At one point I had to express my annoyance with a "Good Lord!" The words took a nose dive in the French speaking air, falling on deaf ears. Just when I came to terms with my lonely feelings a girl about my age gave me the "what's up with that" look. The next ogled victim made a crucial error when she sat next to me. Not only did this creeper turn and look at her, he decided it was completely o.k. to do so for whatever length of time he saw fit. She politely (totally freaked out) smiled. At this time my shoulders were bouncing from internal laughter, of course when I am suppose to act like an adult I can't. Our eyes connected, not me and creepy, me and my sat partner. Passing looks, one of humor/sympathy the other of fear/disgust/a little humor.
Without words, we spoke to each other then started giggling like school girls. It was a great moment. It was not a great moment when stinky got off at the same stop as me. Darting in and out of traffic I was able to loose him.
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