Friday, February 6

Special Delivery

What was the bus like yesterday, ummm have you ever sniffed the inside of a Frito bag? I do not recommend it. Holy stinky something/someone batman. I am however subject to this daily punishment because I am now in possession of a bus pass. (First time) Since this little piece of plastic cost $75.00 I plan to get on every bus I see, just because I can. (Usually, $2.60 a ride or $6.50 for a day pass.) Yesterday, I agreed to take a few jobs teaching outside of the city, (more stinky rides) so my employer is paying for my bus pass. (So Cool.) Of course, I will be armed with Lysol. (Wouldn't that be so funny...squirt.squirt.) My random Wednesday night bus ride: an old man pulls out a harmonica, yup, and started playing.

Friday: This week I had the same student 5 hours a day for three days. For certain, this is more time than I spend with my husband. Leaving work. Sigh. I was heading to get some Vodka (joke). I was however going to the grocery store.

On foot, I have to be mindful of the quantity. Red basket in hand I sauntered up and down a few aisles, then rounding the corner the handle broke. Groceries here and there, helpful French words in my ear and sweat rolling down my back...I sheepishly "merci-ed" those around and ran to get a cart. Now, pushing my handicap cart...you know the one that doesn't take corners and makes a screeching sound as you push it...I filled my mental curse card while pushing my jacked up cart trying to finish. Check out time. Avoiding eye contact, hoping for less interaction, a cannon of perky French words fired in my ear. Crap, I was busted. "Je parle français un peu...désolé". I speak French just a little, sorry. A sentence mastered and abused. Next thing I know some man in another aisle is translating what the cashier is telling me. (I am turning red and being stared at like the bearded lady at the circus. Note to self check chin for Billy Goat hairs...thank you menopause) Not only were the words in English they were also the lovelies words...."would you like these delivered?" Tears in my eyes (good ones), "pardon" (the French way of saying it). Without another thought I was writing my address down. With empty arms I skipped out of the store and onto the more than usual crowded bus.

Breathing through my mouth, smile on my face, walking (with a few twirls) 8 blocks in the -0 weather, turning my key, sitting on my couch, answering the door....my groceries were delivered. A $ 3.00 service.

If your wondering, and I am quite certain you are not holding your breath wondering, but I am still sitting on my bed in my robe. Eating dried fruit(not pictured), Munchies Snack Mix(Super melange), drinking Nestle Pure Lite Sparkling Lime water (Petillante Lime), computer on my lap, phone by my side and a plethora of other goods on standby. My plan was to do nothing until 2:00, but I am having so much fun I thought I would do this a little longer.

Last night my active mind disorder (self diagnosed) kicked in, so I made a mess- I mean- I made cards until 2:00 am. This morning they were not as cute as I remembered. Drats!

Now, just because I can, I think I'll jump on a bus heading in a new direction...jump off after a few minutes and try it again. I heart my new smelly wagon, taken me anywhere plastic card.

T.G.I.F.

6 comments:

Jill said...

Who knew a bus pass could inspire such delight? It definitely makes for good stories though, so I would suggest permanently switching to mouth breathing to avoid the Frito-scent and maybe start jotting notes about the crazy people and things you see while on the bus. Good times.

Debbie said...

$3 to deliver groceries. That just may be the best bargain I have ever heard.

Firefly@www.firefly-shop.org said...

Cool :)

Scribbit said...

I was driving the kids home from school and suddenly it was "what is that horrible smell??"

Someone had a bag of Fritos open, I thought they'd taken off their shoes :)

Patois said...

So funny you say that about Fritos. I had a similar reaction as Scribbit -- and as you described -- in the car when someone had opened a bag of Lays potato chips. Which really makes me wonder why we eat those things.

Cassie said...

Wow! I want a bus pass! We don't have buses here though, shoot! Groceries delivered. I never in my life have had an opportunity to have my groceries delivered. I am green with envy! I have a bag of Frito's in the kitchen right now, I'm going to go smell them.